I like to discipline with a little humor. When kids are doing minor things that they aren't really thinking about, I have found that putting a little humor into it not only makes the kids smile, but helps stop the behaviors, or at least temporarily tame them...without them feeling stupid. Here are some of my favorite things you will often hear coming out of my mouth in my classroom...
Things I say on a regular basis:
- Unless you're a camel, you have no need to spit
- This is not American Idol, please keep your songs to yourself
- Until you see a big sign outside the classroom saying "Tattoo Parlor" you do not draw on yourself
- I didn't realize we were having tryouts for "so you think you can dance" today
- You are not a dog, so don't bark like one (yes I have a barker in my classroom)
- Excuse me, can you tell me who this hoodlum is sitting next to you? I don't recognize them. (Said about a child that is wearing their hood in the classroom)
Things I think, but thankfully haven't accidently said out loud (not yet at least):
- You are not a stripper, get off the pole
- The poles are not for dancing
- Pull up your shirt, you're not a prostitute
Honk Honk
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Squirrels (AKA teachers)
Squirrels like to horde stuff. Sure they are sometimes cute and lovable animals...like the one we fed marshmallows to while I was camping with friends. However, the problem with squirrels is that they just can't stop hording stuff! They would never throw something out, and as soon as they see a sign that says "free nuts" they go crazy and take as many nuts as they can hold!
Some teachers are like squirrels. They horde as much stuff as they possibly can and never get rid of it! I totally understand some of that mentality because you never know if you are going to teach a certain grade again or not, so you keep all of your boxes from the grades you've taught. Why reinvent the wheel every time you change grade levels? I get it...even my husband can attest to the multiple teaching boxes in our attic.
What really boggles my mind though are the teachers who just can't get rid of anything! Don't they ever think about the poor teachers who have to move into their classroom the next year? I am currently one of those teachers that had to come into a classroom where the previous teacher was a cute bushy tailed squirrel! It's taken me all year to clean out the mounds of "nuts" that was in there. Who really needs to save report cards from 2002? As the school year is winding down and I am having to do the final stages of cleaning and organizing in order to check out for the year, I am vowing that I will not leave it a horrible mess for the next teacher in there. Even if that means that I have to clean out all the garbage from the last squirrel (I mean teacher). I will not be a squirrel!
Some teachers are like squirrels. They horde as much stuff as they possibly can and never get rid of it! I totally understand some of that mentality because you never know if you are going to teach a certain grade again or not, so you keep all of your boxes from the grades you've taught. Why reinvent the wheel every time you change grade levels? I get it...even my husband can attest to the multiple teaching boxes in our attic.
What really boggles my mind though are the teachers who just can't get rid of anything! Don't they ever think about the poor teachers who have to move into their classroom the next year? I am currently one of those teachers that had to come into a classroom where the previous teacher was a cute bushy tailed squirrel! It's taken me all year to clean out the mounds of "nuts" that was in there. Who really needs to save report cards from 2002? As the school year is winding down and I am having to do the final stages of cleaning and organizing in order to check out for the year, I am vowing that I will not leave it a horrible mess for the next teacher in there. Even if that means that I have to clean out all the garbage from the last squirrel (I mean teacher). I will not be a squirrel!
I will never...
As a teacher I hereby vow to NEVER do the following when I am a parent...
1. Show up to school wearing my pajamas, or my robe (especially at 3pm)
2. Wear my slippers to pick up my kid
3. Always believe that my child could NEVER do anything naughty
4. Give my kid some weird spelling of their name that no one can pronounce
5. Put a hypen in my kids first name (not to seperate the first and middle, but just in the first name alone)
6. Call the school and interrupt the classroom everyday just to tell my kid to walk home
7. Tell the school I will come pick up my sick child, or when my kid is suspended, and then never show up
8. Tell my child's teacher in May that since my kid acted out they can plan on Christmas being cancelled (especially when I know the teacher would know that no one would ever follow through with that threat!)
9. Let my kid sit at home playing video games all day because they were suspended from school
10. Name my kid some jacked up name that they will despise for the rest of their lives such as La-a (pronounced La-dash-uh)
11. Tell my child that if someone talks smack to you, you should hit 'em
1. Show up to school wearing my pajamas, or my robe (especially at 3pm)
2. Wear my slippers to pick up my kid
3. Always believe that my child could NEVER do anything naughty
4. Give my kid some weird spelling of their name that no one can pronounce
5. Put a hypen in my kids first name (not to seperate the first and middle, but just in the first name alone)
6. Call the school and interrupt the classroom everyday just to tell my kid to walk home
7. Tell the school I will come pick up my sick child, or when my kid is suspended, and then never show up
8. Tell my child's teacher in May that since my kid acted out they can plan on Christmas being cancelled (especially when I know the teacher would know that no one would ever follow through with that threat!)
9. Let my kid sit at home playing video games all day because they were suspended from school
10. Name my kid some jacked up name that they will despise for the rest of their lives such as La-a (pronounced La-dash-uh)
11. Tell my child that if someone talks smack to you, you should hit 'em
The H and P words
I was very proud of one of my students who came up to me and admitted what had happened when I broke up her argument with another student. The other girl lashed out in anger yelling and getting herself in more trouble. The other one came up to me and had this conversation with me...
D: I did something stupid so I came to talk to you about it.
Mrs. J: (I was very proud because one of my classroom rules is, if you do something stupid, which we all do from time to time, come talk to me about it and you'll be in far less trouble, then when I find out from someone else)
D: She called me a...well you know a bad word...
Mrs. J: (probing) A word that starts with the letter... (I am waiting for the response of B)
D: You know, the H word, so then I called her the P word.
At this point I am totally perplexed. I thought I knew my bad words pretty well...apparently not
Mrs. J: OK, you won't get in trouble if you tell me the words right now, but I need to know what the H and P words are.
D: You know, she called me a Ho so I called her a Prostitute
One of my funniest teaching moments ever! Certainly the funniest this year!
D: I did something stupid so I came to talk to you about it.
Mrs. J: (I was very proud because one of my classroom rules is, if you do something stupid, which we all do from time to time, come talk to me about it and you'll be in far less trouble, then when I find out from someone else)
D: She called me a...well you know a bad word...
Mrs. J: (probing) A word that starts with the letter... (I am waiting for the response of B)
D: You know, the H word, so then I called her the P word.
At this point I am totally perplexed. I thought I knew my bad words pretty well...apparently not
Mrs. J: OK, you won't get in trouble if you tell me the words right now, but I need to know what the H and P words are.
D: You know, she called me a Ho so I called her a Prostitute
One of my funniest teaching moments ever! Certainly the funniest this year!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Jazz Bands
We had a Jazz band come to our school recently. They were AMAZING! And the best part of it was that before they came our principal made comments like these!...
"I am not about to let some blonde haired blue eyed kids teach our students about Jazz music!"
"We need to teach them that Jazz was invented by our people, not YOUR people, but MY people and the students people"
"It's bad enough that they have to sit and look at all of your white faces teaching them everyday!" (Funny thing about this comment, I am maybe 1 of 3 "white" teachers, the rest are a nice diverse mix, yet somehow we all got chunked into the "white" category.
"My kids even tell me, Mom, music doesn't have a color, but I don't care!"
Oh my...we didn't have a huge lesson over the invention of Jazz, and guess what? EVERY single one of our students LOVED the concert they held for us! No matter what color they were! Sometimes I just can't believe the things that comes out of my principal's mouth!
"I am not about to let some blonde haired blue eyed kids teach our students about Jazz music!"
"We need to teach them that Jazz was invented by our people, not YOUR people, but MY people and the students people"
"It's bad enough that they have to sit and look at all of your white faces teaching them everyday!" (Funny thing about this comment, I am maybe 1 of 3 "white" teachers, the rest are a nice diverse mix, yet somehow we all got chunked into the "white" category.
"My kids even tell me, Mom, music doesn't have a color, but I don't care!"
Oh my...we didn't have a huge lesson over the invention of Jazz, and guess what? EVERY single one of our students LOVED the concert they held for us! No matter what color they were! Sometimes I just can't believe the things that comes out of my principal's mouth!
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