Dear Crazy Parent:
Sorry for bothering you today when I called you at 3:00pm and awoke you from your nap. I never would have guessed I would have been waking you up by calling at that hour. And don't worry, I got your message loud and clear! I won't call you to talk to you about your daughter's behavior ever again because you did make it very clear that you don't care what your kid does at school. You are right, how dare me to be so rude to even consider calling you about ways I can help your child succeed in school. That is my job, and I was only hoping that since you have had more experience with your daughter over the last 10 years then I have, that you might have some insight and we could work together. But again, you're right, you don't call me to talk about how she behaves at home, so I guess I can see your reasoning that I have no place calling you, HER MOTHER, to talk about how she behaves at school. Again, you can have my word...I will NEVER be calling you again! I don't want to have to deal with the hassle of being yelled at for 10 minutes about my utter stupidity for calling a parent to keep them informed on their child's behavior.
Mrs. J (your child's idiotic teacher)
PS...I see where your child gets the crazed look in her eye, the absurd outbursts, and the anger issues. The poor girl, she was doomed from the womb.
PPS....I guess I will have to just do my best to be the best motherly figure to your daughter that I can during the 7 hours a day that I have her, because obviously, that will be more mothering than she's ever had! Good luck with her when she turns 13!