This came from one of my fellow teachers...
"Just had a kid in detention who thought it was funny to shove carrots up his nose...until I made him eat them :)"
That just makes me happy!
Honk Honk
Friday, October 15, 2010
Magazines
So every year I do a writing activity where we use magazines to make a collage of different types of topic sentences. I love this activity for many different reasons. This year I asked parents to send in any old magazines that they wouldn't mind having us cut up. BUT I also strongly emphasized that I needed them to be BORING and APPROPRIATE magazines, so if they could please flip through them and remove anything inappropriate. Well either parents forgot, or we have completely different views of what is appropriate. I of course pre-screened the fronts of the magazines and quickly thumbed through the rest. Here's some of the gems I found on just the front and back covers!
OK...first of all, words like infidelity and intimacy are kind of a red flag for me...
I don't want to see a picture of people getting all up on each other, do you really want your kids seeing that?
RED FLAG - Shouldn't Howard Stern's picture plastered on the front cover make you at least think, "hmmm maybe not the best magazine for kids"?
How do you think a bunch of 6th graders are going to respond to the word SEX? Really, come on!
And the kicker of them all that I did NOT find on my own, but a student found tucked as an ad in a magazine, was a picture of topless woman just using her fingers to cover her nipples. LOVELY. That led to quite the discussion of what's appropriate and what's not.
OK...first of all, words like infidelity and intimacy are kind of a red flag for me...
I don't want to see a picture of people getting all up on each other, do you really want your kids seeing that?
RED FLAG - Shouldn't Howard Stern's picture plastered on the front cover make you at least think, "hmmm maybe not the best magazine for kids"?
How do you think a bunch of 6th graders are going to respond to the word SEX? Really, come on!
Bullies - Big and Small
Bullies make me SO mad! How dare you think you are better than someone and try to boss them around? My personality doesn't mesh well with bullies, although I doubt many people's do. But when I see a bully I want to fight back and shove them in a corner. Granted I can't literally shove them in a corner, but I'd like to!
Today I encountered 2 types of bullies. The first bully was a 3rd grader out on the playground who asked another boy to see his work. You could see a sense of pride on the young boy's face and he was eager to show off his work. As soon he showed it the bully started cackling and being rude. I gave it a second to see how the other boy was going to react, and to try and figure out if the project was something that is supposed to be funny. I quickly realized it was not and that the child was just being a bully! So I jumped in, pulled the bully aside, and scared the living tar out of him. Do I think it will prevent him from ever being a bully again? Probably not, but hopefully it at least makes him think.
The other bully I encountered today was a parent. That's right, a so called ADULT. She met with me previously this week to try and demand that I move my students out of groups and have all their desks individually placed in my classroom. After I told her I would NOT change my arrangement and gave evidence of the effectiveness of my teaching strategies, she seemed miffed that she didn't get her way. I offered moving the placement of her child within his current group and that in 2 weeks we would be getting a new seating chart, and this would provide him the opportunity to gain effective social skills with his peers. She again contacted me today telling me when SHE was going to have a meeting with ME. I'm sorry, did we prearrange a meeting? Did you call my secretary to check my schedule? Oh wait, I don't have a secretary and NO I am NOT going to meet with you when you demand it. Yes I am willing to meet to try and best help your child, but we need to BOTH agree to a time and date. She then called the office and DEMANDED that I call her at lunch. So what did I do? Ate my lunch in peace and waited until after school to call her and let her know that I'd be happy to meet and we needed to arrange a time that works for both of us.
The world encounters all types of bullies, and sadly there are many adult bullies out there. I'm sure you know at least one!
Today I encountered 2 types of bullies. The first bully was a 3rd grader out on the playground who asked another boy to see his work. You could see a sense of pride on the young boy's face and he was eager to show off his work. As soon he showed it the bully started cackling and being rude. I gave it a second to see how the other boy was going to react, and to try and figure out if the project was something that is supposed to be funny. I quickly realized it was not and that the child was just being a bully! So I jumped in, pulled the bully aside, and scared the living tar out of him. Do I think it will prevent him from ever being a bully again? Probably not, but hopefully it at least makes him think.
The other bully I encountered today was a parent. That's right, a so called ADULT. She met with me previously this week to try and demand that I move my students out of groups and have all their desks individually placed in my classroom. After I told her I would NOT change my arrangement and gave evidence of the effectiveness of my teaching strategies, she seemed miffed that she didn't get her way. I offered moving the placement of her child within his current group and that in 2 weeks we would be getting a new seating chart, and this would provide him the opportunity to gain effective social skills with his peers. She again contacted me today telling me when SHE was going to have a meeting with ME. I'm sorry, did we prearrange a meeting? Did you call my secretary to check my schedule? Oh wait, I don't have a secretary and NO I am NOT going to meet with you when you demand it. Yes I am willing to meet to try and best help your child, but we need to BOTH agree to a time and date. She then called the office and DEMANDED that I call her at lunch. So what did I do? Ate my lunch in peace and waited until after school to call her and let her know that I'd be happy to meet and we needed to arrange a time that works for both of us.
The world encounters all types of bullies, and sadly there are many adult bullies out there. I'm sure you know at least one!
Spies
While even I as a teacher teach students the difference between a tattle and a tell, I must admit, I love it when I have spies that rat out the other students! There is no way that my 2 eyes can watch 33 students all at the same time. I do my best and I have learned lots of tricks over the years, but I can't catch everything. So I love it when students wind up spying on others for me. I have one student this year who comes and sneaks notes to me that rat out other kids around her. I can then use that to my advantage and not only look for the behavior tattled about (like note passing), but also BUST the kids who are doing it! So to all my sneaky spies, while I would never let the rest of my class know, THANK YOU for being a tattle tale.
***ALERT*** PCS EPIDEMIC!
What is a PCS epidemic you might ask? Well, parents, you can ask your child because according to you, they are perfect and could never do any wrong. PCS stands for Perfect Child Syndrome. Now I recognize that not all parents have PCS, but there are always a small handful that do. If you do suffer from Perfect Child Syndrome, here are a couple of strategies to help you overcome your problem...
1. Get over yourself. Your child is NOT perfect and by all means YOU are probably FAR from perfect, so just accept reality.
2. Be honest with yourself and others. Lying to the teacher's face about your "perfect" child doesn't do any good but make the teacher realize they REALLY can't trust you!
3. Realize that when you are suffering from PCS, all you are really doing is teaching your child to be a spoiled brat. And guess what...when spoiled brats grow up and have kids, they too often suffer from PCS causing a never ending cycle!
4. Don't be an idiot.
'Nuff said.
1. Get over yourself. Your child is NOT perfect and by all means YOU are probably FAR from perfect, so just accept reality.
2. Be honest with yourself and others. Lying to the teacher's face about your "perfect" child doesn't do any good but make the teacher realize they REALLY can't trust you!
3. Realize that when you are suffering from PCS, all you are really doing is teaching your child to be a spoiled brat. And guess what...when spoiled brats grow up and have kids, they too often suffer from PCS causing a never ending cycle!
4. Don't be an idiot.
'Nuff said.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Power of Parents
I have taught in a wide range of schools. High performing schools, low performing schools, rich areas, middle of the road areas, and really poor areas. It doesn't matter what community I am in, when a child has a supportive parent who teaches them values and hard work while being involved in their education, without fail I have seen those students shine and be high achievers! It's amazing to me that no matter how hard I work for the 6 hours a day I have students, there is no way I can be 100% effective unless the parents are supporting their child at home. Parents must not realize the power they have to help their children because it seems that if they knew, every parent would be involved! It's remarkable to see the difference a parent can make! Here is a list of ways I have found parents to be truly effective...
1. Be educated...my highest achieving students are always the ones with the highest parent education
2. Value education and let your child know how important it is
3. Be active in the school. Know the teachers and office staff and be aware of what classroom your child in. If you've been nice and a friendly supportive face, most likely the office staff will put your child where you want them. I know a lot of parents work, but you can still be friendly and make yourself known, even if you can't be there often.
4. Communicate with your child's teacher and do so effectively. Let them know you are there to support them and help your child at home.
5. Accept that your child isn't a prince or princess and that they should NOT be exempt from all the rules.
6. Make sure you have an active role in a homework routine, but please don't do homework for them, give them answers, or complain to them about their homework. And if you don't know how to do it, do some research so you can help your child.
7. Attend the school functions and show excitement about it so your child can know that their education is important to you.
8. If your child gets suspended at school please do NOT let them go home and watch TV and play video games. A day on suspension should be far worse than a day at school! I will never forget my brother being suspended for 2 days and how he became a slave around our house! Just seeing him miserable inspired me to never get myself in trouble!
9. Love your child.
I am sure there are million more things I could add to this list, but that's all for now! What do you feel is the best thing a parent can do to support education?
1. Be educated...my highest achieving students are always the ones with the highest parent education
2. Value education and let your child know how important it is
3. Be active in the school. Know the teachers and office staff and be aware of what classroom your child in. If you've been nice and a friendly supportive face, most likely the office staff will put your child where you want them. I know a lot of parents work, but you can still be friendly and make yourself known, even if you can't be there often.
4. Communicate with your child's teacher and do so effectively. Let them know you are there to support them and help your child at home.
5. Accept that your child isn't a prince or princess and that they should NOT be exempt from all the rules.
6. Make sure you have an active role in a homework routine, but please don't do homework for them, give them answers, or complain to them about their homework. And if you don't know how to do it, do some research so you can help your child.
7. Attend the school functions and show excitement about it so your child can know that their education is important to you.
8. If your child gets suspended at school please do NOT let them go home and watch TV and play video games. A day on suspension should be far worse than a day at school! I will never forget my brother being suspended for 2 days and how he became a slave around our house! Just seeing him miserable inspired me to never get myself in trouble!
9. Love your child.
I am sure there are million more things I could add to this list, but that's all for now! What do you feel is the best thing a parent can do to support education?
Change
I moved schools this year and it's be a complete change! I am now with a different principal and it's very refreshing to have someone who doesn't tell the whole staff about how much they suck on a daily basis! My new principal is supportive, tells me what a great job I'm doing, and helps out where ever possible. It really makes a big difference having effective administration. Last year none of the teachers were ever able to really do what they know best, teach. We were constantly being micromanaged, told to do things a certain way, and then 2 weeks later told to do them differently. We all spent the whole year trying to make the principal happy and as a result we weren't able to truly teach the way we know how to! The poor students were all effected and given a disservice simply because of the principal. Yet all of the teachers needed good evaluations so we could keep our jobs in a tough economy, so we did what we had to do to get by and accommodate to the system. Last year was a classic example of how the school system is failing our students.
Now this year I am in a community where there is a supportive principal who knows how to run a school effectively. The teachers are given the academic freedom to teach how we know best and our students very clearly benefit from that! Would you really want to tell Michael Jordan he wasn't playing basketball right and make him do all sorts of nonsense things to effect his style? He knew what he was doing, so people let him do it! Good teachers know what they are doing and we each have our own style. As a good teacher we know how to make sure the kids not only learn the required curriculum, but know how to push them above and beyond their abilities! So when you have a school with good teachers, you are going to have great progress, as long as we are given the trust and support we need and deserve! Yet sadly, our system often allows poor leadership to stay in their positions and continue to effect hundreds of students and teachers.
Now this year I am in a community where there is a supportive principal who knows how to run a school effectively. The teachers are given the academic freedom to teach how we know best and our students very clearly benefit from that! Would you really want to tell Michael Jordan he wasn't playing basketball right and make him do all sorts of nonsense things to effect his style? He knew what he was doing, so people let him do it! Good teachers know what they are doing and we each have our own style. As a good teacher we know how to make sure the kids not only learn the required curriculum, but know how to push them above and beyond their abilities! So when you have a school with good teachers, you are going to have great progress, as long as we are given the trust and support we need and deserve! Yet sadly, our system often allows poor leadership to stay in their positions and continue to effect hundreds of students and teachers.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Are YOU smarter than a 5th grader?
***Disclaimer: this post was not meant to offend anyone who can't perform the above said tasks...but if you can't, please start to learn!
Monday, August 30, 2010
In Your Face!!!
So I was told all year last year by my wretched principal that I was horrible teacher. I just got an email from said principal thanking me for having the BEST state test schools FOR THE WHOLE SCHOOL! I had the most dramatic improvement in student achievement! The sad part was that my first thought wasn't "yeah for my students!" but it was more like "take that you horrible principal!"
Single Digits
I'm into the single digits of the number of days before school starts up again. 9 days left of summer. Be looking for stories to be updated soon!
Friday, July 16, 2010
In the Summertime when the weather is fine...
First and foremost, I am thoroughly enjoying my summer break. It's amazing how much teachers really do need that time off. People always tease teachers about how we have such a cushy schedule, and while I must say it's really nice, we honestly need it! No matter how good you are as a teacher...you get burned out and need breaks away from your students. So thank goodness for breaks...especially summer!
I will try and reminisce on some truly fascinating teaching stories that I haven't shared yet. But don't get your hopes up too much for posts this summer. My biggest summer goal is to de-squirrel my house (aka - clean out). So far so good!
I will try and reminisce on some truly fascinating teaching stories that I haven't shared yet. But don't get your hopes up too much for posts this summer. My biggest summer goal is to de-squirrel my house (aka - clean out). So far so good!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sayings that make them smile every time!
I like to discipline with a little humor. When kids are doing minor things that they aren't really thinking about, I have found that putting a little humor into it not only makes the kids smile, but helps stop the behaviors, or at least temporarily tame them...without them feeling stupid. Here are some of my favorite things you will often hear coming out of my mouth in my classroom...
Things I say on a regular basis:
- Unless you're a camel, you have no need to spit
- This is not American Idol, please keep your songs to yourself
- Until you see a big sign outside the classroom saying "Tattoo Parlor" you do not draw on yourself
- I didn't realize we were having tryouts for "so you think you can dance" today
- You are not a dog, so don't bark like one (yes I have a barker in my classroom)
- Excuse me, can you tell me who this hoodlum is sitting next to you? I don't recognize them. (Said about a child that is wearing their hood in the classroom)
Things I think, but thankfully haven't accidently said out loud (not yet at least):
- You are not a stripper, get off the pole
- The poles are not for dancing
- Pull up your shirt, you're not a prostitute
Things I say on a regular basis:
- Unless you're a camel, you have no need to spit
- This is not American Idol, please keep your songs to yourself
- Until you see a big sign outside the classroom saying "Tattoo Parlor" you do not draw on yourself
- I didn't realize we were having tryouts for "so you think you can dance" today
- You are not a dog, so don't bark like one (yes I have a barker in my classroom)
- Excuse me, can you tell me who this hoodlum is sitting next to you? I don't recognize them. (Said about a child that is wearing their hood in the classroom)
Things I think, but thankfully haven't accidently said out loud (not yet at least):
- You are not a stripper, get off the pole
- The poles are not for dancing
- Pull up your shirt, you're not a prostitute
Monday, June 7, 2010
Squirrels (AKA teachers)
Squirrels like to horde stuff. Sure they are sometimes cute and lovable animals...like the one we fed marshmallows to while I was camping with friends. However, the problem with squirrels is that they just can't stop hording stuff! They would never throw something out, and as soon as they see a sign that says "free nuts" they go crazy and take as many nuts as they can hold!
Some teachers are like squirrels. They horde as much stuff as they possibly can and never get rid of it! I totally understand some of that mentality because you never know if you are going to teach a certain grade again or not, so you keep all of your boxes from the grades you've taught. Why reinvent the wheel every time you change grade levels? I get it...even my husband can attest to the multiple teaching boxes in our attic.
What really boggles my mind though are the teachers who just can't get rid of anything! Don't they ever think about the poor teachers who have to move into their classroom the next year? I am currently one of those teachers that had to come into a classroom where the previous teacher was a cute bushy tailed squirrel! It's taken me all year to clean out the mounds of "nuts" that was in there. Who really needs to save report cards from 2002? As the school year is winding down and I am having to do the final stages of cleaning and organizing in order to check out for the year, I am vowing that I will not leave it a horrible mess for the next teacher in there. Even if that means that I have to clean out all the garbage from the last squirrel (I mean teacher). I will not be a squirrel!
Some teachers are like squirrels. They horde as much stuff as they possibly can and never get rid of it! I totally understand some of that mentality because you never know if you are going to teach a certain grade again or not, so you keep all of your boxes from the grades you've taught. Why reinvent the wheel every time you change grade levels? I get it...even my husband can attest to the multiple teaching boxes in our attic.
What really boggles my mind though are the teachers who just can't get rid of anything! Don't they ever think about the poor teachers who have to move into their classroom the next year? I am currently one of those teachers that had to come into a classroom where the previous teacher was a cute bushy tailed squirrel! It's taken me all year to clean out the mounds of "nuts" that was in there. Who really needs to save report cards from 2002? As the school year is winding down and I am having to do the final stages of cleaning and organizing in order to check out for the year, I am vowing that I will not leave it a horrible mess for the next teacher in there. Even if that means that I have to clean out all the garbage from the last squirrel (I mean teacher). I will not be a squirrel!
I will never...
As a teacher I hereby vow to NEVER do the following when I am a parent...
1. Show up to school wearing my pajamas, or my robe (especially at 3pm)
2. Wear my slippers to pick up my kid
3. Always believe that my child could NEVER do anything naughty
4. Give my kid some weird spelling of their name that no one can pronounce
5. Put a hypen in my kids first name (not to seperate the first and middle, but just in the first name alone)
6. Call the school and interrupt the classroom everyday just to tell my kid to walk home
7. Tell the school I will come pick up my sick child, or when my kid is suspended, and then never show up
8. Tell my child's teacher in May that since my kid acted out they can plan on Christmas being cancelled (especially when I know the teacher would know that no one would ever follow through with that threat!)
9. Let my kid sit at home playing video games all day because they were suspended from school
10. Name my kid some jacked up name that they will despise for the rest of their lives such as La-a (pronounced La-dash-uh)
11. Tell my child that if someone talks smack to you, you should hit 'em
1. Show up to school wearing my pajamas, or my robe (especially at 3pm)
2. Wear my slippers to pick up my kid
3. Always believe that my child could NEVER do anything naughty
4. Give my kid some weird spelling of their name that no one can pronounce
5. Put a hypen in my kids first name (not to seperate the first and middle, but just in the first name alone)
6. Call the school and interrupt the classroom everyday just to tell my kid to walk home
7. Tell the school I will come pick up my sick child, or when my kid is suspended, and then never show up
8. Tell my child's teacher in May that since my kid acted out they can plan on Christmas being cancelled (especially when I know the teacher would know that no one would ever follow through with that threat!)
9. Let my kid sit at home playing video games all day because they were suspended from school
10. Name my kid some jacked up name that they will despise for the rest of their lives such as La-a (pronounced La-dash-uh)
11. Tell my child that if someone talks smack to you, you should hit 'em
The H and P words
I was very proud of one of my students who came up to me and admitted what had happened when I broke up her argument with another student. The other girl lashed out in anger yelling and getting herself in more trouble. The other one came up to me and had this conversation with me...
D: I did something stupid so I came to talk to you about it.
Mrs. J: (I was very proud because one of my classroom rules is, if you do something stupid, which we all do from time to time, come talk to me about it and you'll be in far less trouble, then when I find out from someone else)
D: She called me a...well you know a bad word...
Mrs. J: (probing) A word that starts with the letter... (I am waiting for the response of B)
D: You know, the H word, so then I called her the P word.
At this point I am totally perplexed. I thought I knew my bad words pretty well...apparently not
Mrs. J: OK, you won't get in trouble if you tell me the words right now, but I need to know what the H and P words are.
D: You know, she called me a Ho so I called her a Prostitute
One of my funniest teaching moments ever! Certainly the funniest this year!
D: I did something stupid so I came to talk to you about it.
Mrs. J: (I was very proud because one of my classroom rules is, if you do something stupid, which we all do from time to time, come talk to me about it and you'll be in far less trouble, then when I find out from someone else)
D: She called me a...well you know a bad word...
Mrs. J: (probing) A word that starts with the letter... (I am waiting for the response of B)
D: You know, the H word, so then I called her the P word.
At this point I am totally perplexed. I thought I knew my bad words pretty well...apparently not
Mrs. J: OK, you won't get in trouble if you tell me the words right now, but I need to know what the H and P words are.
D: You know, she called me a Ho so I called her a Prostitute
One of my funniest teaching moments ever! Certainly the funniest this year!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Jazz Bands
We had a Jazz band come to our school recently. They were AMAZING! And the best part of it was that before they came our principal made comments like these!...
"I am not about to let some blonde haired blue eyed kids teach our students about Jazz music!"
"We need to teach them that Jazz was invented by our people, not YOUR people, but MY people and the students people"
"It's bad enough that they have to sit and look at all of your white faces teaching them everyday!" (Funny thing about this comment, I am maybe 1 of 3 "white" teachers, the rest are a nice diverse mix, yet somehow we all got chunked into the "white" category.
"My kids even tell me, Mom, music doesn't have a color, but I don't care!"
Oh my...we didn't have a huge lesson over the invention of Jazz, and guess what? EVERY single one of our students LOVED the concert they held for us! No matter what color they were! Sometimes I just can't believe the things that comes out of my principal's mouth!
"I am not about to let some blonde haired blue eyed kids teach our students about Jazz music!"
"We need to teach them that Jazz was invented by our people, not YOUR people, but MY people and the students people"
"It's bad enough that they have to sit and look at all of your white faces teaching them everyday!" (Funny thing about this comment, I am maybe 1 of 3 "white" teachers, the rest are a nice diverse mix, yet somehow we all got chunked into the "white" category.
"My kids even tell me, Mom, music doesn't have a color, but I don't care!"
Oh my...we didn't have a huge lesson over the invention of Jazz, and guess what? EVERY single one of our students LOVED the concert they held for us! No matter what color they were! Sometimes I just can't believe the things that comes out of my principal's mouth!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Baby Names
Most teachers will probably tell you that they have a bigger list of baby names that they could NEVER name their children, then is their list of names they could actually use. And then sadly, the list of "good" names is always changing because every year you get a new class and a whole new set of kids that could ruin a name for you. I fear the day that my favorite baby names shows up on my class list. So far, I have been safe.
The one name I have found to be a common name a teacher could never name their child is Michael. Don't ask me what it is what that name, but EVERY Michael I have had, and I've had a good handful, has been a terror. But I'm not the only teacher who's said that. Even my Mother who taught 30 years ago recalls stories of how the teachers before the school started would look at their list and based on the number of Michael's they had in their class, they would be able to determine how good their year was going to be. Or how bad. So what is it about that name?
In truth though, there are 2 names that I have actually thought, I really like that name, and just might name my own children that some day. Only time will tell!
The one name I have found to be a common name a teacher could never name their child is Michael. Don't ask me what it is what that name, but EVERY Michael I have had, and I've had a good handful, has been a terror. But I'm not the only teacher who's said that. Even my Mother who taught 30 years ago recalls stories of how the teachers before the school started would look at their list and based on the number of Michael's they had in their class, they would be able to determine how good their year was going to be. Or how bad. So what is it about that name?
In truth though, there are 2 names that I have actually thought, I really like that name, and just might name my own children that some day. Only time will tell!
Fire Fire!
Back in the day when I was an instructional aid for Bubba, my student with Autism, I had one of my most memorable teaching moments. We had gone on a fieldtrip to the Forestry Services. It was a really neat fieldtrip with the students learned about forest fires and having treated wood to help prevent fire, etc. I was incredibly proud of Bubba, he was doing a fantastic job in a new situation which could often create some challenges. He was doing so well that looking back on it, I realize now, that I wasn't quite on my toes as much as I probably should have been. I was confident in how well he had been handling the fieldtrip, so I guess I got just a tad bit comfortable. Not lazy, but comfortable, I let my guard down a little bit.
Next thing I know as we are all sitting listening to a fireman give some sort of lecture about fires (in all honesty I wasn't listening, so I have no idea what he was talking about). He was just wrapping up and kids were starting to get up from their seats when Bubba got up. I didn't think anything of it initially because the other kids were starting to do the same. I then saw him starting to wander timidly a few feet from me, he was turned towards me and I was chatting with the teacher of our class. He had wandered about 10 feet from me, still watching me the whole time, and I was still keeping my eye on him, when all of a sudden I saw that look in his eye, that one that told me, uh-oh something is about to happen. Once he had a mission, he was quick. In that split second I realized that he had a mischevious plan, whatever that might be, he bolted. I of course went quickly running after him surveying the scene quickly to try and figure out what the heck he was after. He was a big kid, but he was quick and I was dodging in between benches and other students. It was a few feet before he reached his target that I realized what it was...the fire extinguisher. Oh boy. The scene that soon evolved will forever be etched in my memory as one of the funniest moments I have ever seen. He reached the fire extinguisher seconds before I did, but it was just enough time for him to hit the handle and spray the fireman across the back of his leg. The sound was loud, white foam was flying, and the fireman quickly jumped as his back was turned as he was caught off guard being sprayed. Bubba wanted more, and he would have probably emptied the whole extinguisher if I wasn't seconds behind him. I grabbed the extinguisher out from under his grip and was able to quickly stop things from escalating. I quickly apologized to the fireman, thankfully without laughing, walked away with Bubba loving him even more than I always had. That's one of the great things about teaching students with Autism, I always felt that no matter what they did, they weren't doing things for the intent of harm, and they often didn't know any better. You couldn't help but always love them.
I will never forget the look on the fireman's face as he turned around, foam all down the back of his leg, looking at Bubba, and looking at me wondering what had just happened. Priceless. Truly priceless.
Next thing I know as we are all sitting listening to a fireman give some sort of lecture about fires (in all honesty I wasn't listening, so I have no idea what he was talking about). He was just wrapping up and kids were starting to get up from their seats when Bubba got up. I didn't think anything of it initially because the other kids were starting to do the same. I then saw him starting to wander timidly a few feet from me, he was turned towards me and I was chatting with the teacher of our class. He had wandered about 10 feet from me, still watching me the whole time, and I was still keeping my eye on him, when all of a sudden I saw that look in his eye, that one that told me, uh-oh something is about to happen. Once he had a mission, he was quick. In that split second I realized that he had a mischevious plan, whatever that might be, he bolted. I of course went quickly running after him surveying the scene quickly to try and figure out what the heck he was after. He was a big kid, but he was quick and I was dodging in between benches and other students. It was a few feet before he reached his target that I realized what it was...the fire extinguisher. Oh boy. The scene that soon evolved will forever be etched in my memory as one of the funniest moments I have ever seen. He reached the fire extinguisher seconds before I did, but it was just enough time for him to hit the handle and spray the fireman across the back of his leg. The sound was loud, white foam was flying, and the fireman quickly jumped as his back was turned as he was caught off guard being sprayed. Bubba wanted more, and he would have probably emptied the whole extinguisher if I wasn't seconds behind him. I grabbed the extinguisher out from under his grip and was able to quickly stop things from escalating. I quickly apologized to the fireman, thankfully without laughing, walked away with Bubba loving him even more than I always had. That's one of the great things about teaching students with Autism, I always felt that no matter what they did, they weren't doing things for the intent of harm, and they often didn't know any better. You couldn't help but always love them.
I will never forget the look on the fireman's face as he turned around, foam all down the back of his leg, looking at Bubba, and looking at me wondering what had just happened. Priceless. Truly priceless.
Yo' Mama's a Hyperbole
Grammar, oh how I hate to teach grammar. Why? Because quite frankly, I suck at it! (As you can probably tell from my posts). Each year I have found myself reviewing the grammar over and over reteaching myself before I teach the kids. I soon came to realize that obviously I wasn't teaching those lessons very effectively because even I couldn't retain the information from year to year. So that's when I decided I had to get a little more creative.
We started out by learning about personification (taking inanimate objects and giving them human traits or characteristics) and drawing pictures. My favorite picture from this year was the girl who drew the personification sentence "The popcorn leapt out of the bowl." She drew this fantastic picture of these adorable little popcorn people jumping out of the bowl with the people looking shocked and surprised! We always have a great time with these drawings and the kids then point out personification sentences throughout the rest of the year. Granted I offer group points as a reward, so they have a little motivation to find them.
Next on the grammar list of things I ALWAYS had to reteach myself were hyperboles. Pretty much it is an exaggeration such as "That line took a bizillion years to get through!" So this year I tested out some hyperboles that I knew my students would LOVE because they were actually using them all the time...Yo' Mama jokes. I was showing the students multiple different examples of a hyperbole when all of a sudden I decided to randomly throw in "yo' Mama so dumb she thinks a quarterback's a refund!" I must confess I found joy in hearing my whole class go "oooohhhhh" in that you got served kind of way.
Now of course we had to go through the "rules" of using yo' Mama jokes in class.
1. They can't be used to hurt anybody's feelings or to really talk about someone's Mama.
2. You have to ask permission before you tell someone a yo' Mama joke.
3. You can't run up to other kids, teachers, or heaven-forbid the principal and say "yo' Mama's so fat when the weatherman says it's chilly outside she grabs a bowl and spoon."
4. We have to be mature and responsible about it knowing that we are telling the jokes to remember what a hyperbole is.
5. If you can't define or pronounce hyperbole properly after the end of the lesson, you lose your right to tell yo' Mama jokes.
You wouldn't believe how well my students now understand and are able to use a hyperbole! We have even developed a sign so that anytime I use a hyperbole in class, the first person to flash the sign gets points for their group. In all honestly, I would have never known until we developed our sign, how often I really do use hyperboles! It's great!
Lesson learned...you have to teach everything, even boring horrible grammar, in a fun engaging way if you really want kids to retain it. Because if not, you just might be offended when you walk into my class and you hear "yo' Mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her and her Mama!"
We started out by learning about personification (taking inanimate objects and giving them human traits or characteristics) and drawing pictures. My favorite picture from this year was the girl who drew the personification sentence "The popcorn leapt out of the bowl." She drew this fantastic picture of these adorable little popcorn people jumping out of the bowl with the people looking shocked and surprised! We always have a great time with these drawings and the kids then point out personification sentences throughout the rest of the year. Granted I offer group points as a reward, so they have a little motivation to find them.
Next on the grammar list of things I ALWAYS had to reteach myself were hyperboles. Pretty much it is an exaggeration such as "That line took a bizillion years to get through!" So this year I tested out some hyperboles that I knew my students would LOVE because they were actually using them all the time...Yo' Mama jokes. I was showing the students multiple different examples of a hyperbole when all of a sudden I decided to randomly throw in "yo' Mama so dumb she thinks a quarterback's a refund!" I must confess I found joy in hearing my whole class go "oooohhhhh" in that you got served kind of way.
Now of course we had to go through the "rules" of using yo' Mama jokes in class.
1. They can't be used to hurt anybody's feelings or to really talk about someone's Mama.
2. You have to ask permission before you tell someone a yo' Mama joke.
3. You can't run up to other kids, teachers, or heaven-forbid the principal and say "yo' Mama's so fat when the weatherman says it's chilly outside she grabs a bowl and spoon."
4. We have to be mature and responsible about it knowing that we are telling the jokes to remember what a hyperbole is.
5. If you can't define or pronounce hyperbole properly after the end of the lesson, you lose your right to tell yo' Mama jokes.
You wouldn't believe how well my students now understand and are able to use a hyperbole! We have even developed a sign so that anytime I use a hyperbole in class, the first person to flash the sign gets points for their group. In all honestly, I would have never known until we developed our sign, how often I really do use hyperboles! It's great!
Lesson learned...you have to teach everything, even boring horrible grammar, in a fun engaging way if you really want kids to retain it. Because if not, you just might be offended when you walk into my class and you hear "yo' Mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her and her Mama!"
These are the little moments I live for...
Sometimes I want to scream when I have a kid continously asking me the same thing over and over after I've already answered them. This was the case just the other day and I finally said "stop, you are making me mental!". Her response: "I've been mental since before I was born". And then the funny part, another girl not even in the conversation jumps in to state "If you've been mental since before you were born then that means that your Mama had anger issues when she was pregnant with you."
I portrayed a slight smile on the outside, but inside I was locking that one deep into my favorite memories moments.
I portrayed a slight smile on the outside, but inside I was locking that one deep into my favorite memories moments.
I have a bubble people!
I have a bubble. I need my personal space, don't get in it and we'll be great friends, but continously get in it and I'll go crazy! My students know this. I tell my class this fact every year. Keep an arms reach away from me. They have little arms, that's really not asking so much.
So one day one of my most challenging kids, yet also one who has totally wiggled his way into my heart, came into my bubble. I leaned back and said, "whoa there buddy, you're in my bubble." What came next almost had me on the floor in laughter. He steps back slightly, then leans forward, taking his forefinger, and lightly pushing on my shoulder, he says "pop". Yes, he popped my bubble, and instead of going mad, he had me cracking up! Good job kid, but seriously give me some space! ;)
So one day one of my most challenging kids, yet also one who has totally wiggled his way into my heart, came into my bubble. I leaned back and said, "whoa there buddy, you're in my bubble." What came next almost had me on the floor in laughter. He steps back slightly, then leans forward, taking his forefinger, and lightly pushing on my shoulder, he says "pop". Yes, he popped my bubble, and instead of going mad, he had me cracking up! Good job kid, but seriously give me some space! ;)
Please DO NOT fight Racism with Racism!
This year has been quite comical for me. I must say comical because quite frankly if I couldn't find some humor in the madness, I might truly go mad. My husband may say I already have gone mad, but most days I recover it!
So this story really begins at the beginning of the year before school even started. I had just met my new principal I would be working with and after 10 minutes of small talk, I was told that I was going to fail as a teacher because "white female teachers are pushovers". My principal is not white. So that's how the year started. I thought it was just me, the whitey of the group, that would be targeted, but no, it turns out that she also made very blantantly racist comments towards a Hispanic, and an Asian. So at least I wasn't targeted specifically. Here's the funny part too...she also told us with pride how she had sewed over a racial issue. (Was she encouraging us to take action against her since she was being racist to us? Hmmm, food for thought)
During Christmas "Santa" came and the kids were beyond excited. Sure I'm not a big Santa fan either, but with the kids so excited, I went with it. My principal however couldn't quite go along with it without telling the kids how "no fat white guy is going to get credit for all my hard work". (Yet in this case, she actually hadn't done any of the work, Santa and his helpers were really the ones who got all the gifts donated, wrapped, and given to the kids). It was quite the downer on such a fun day.
So here's the latest and greatest. At a recent staff meeting we were told about a high school Jazz band that was going to come and play at our school. The most entertaining thing about this is that all of a sudden what seemed like a fun thing turned ugly. After getting the basic information on when the band would be here and where they were from, she proceeds to get a nasty tone and tell us how she has a problem with a bunch of blue-eyed white kids coming in claiming jazz. The world needs to know that it wasn't a bunch of white kids who invented Jazz, but it came from their people. OK, so I can totally understand teaching the kids about the history of Jazz, but I'm pretty sure the kids aren't even going to be thinking about color when they're listening to the music. In fact I just invision the kids wanting to get up and dance and have fun (but the principal will probably yell at them if they try and do that too). So long story short, the principal continues to tell us how she's not about to let some little white kids come in and play for our kids who look like her. They need to know that the real people that invented Jazz look like them, and not like us white people they have to look at teaching them all day.
Funny thing is, last time I checked, I am only 1 of 2 white teachers at the school. Sure the rest of us have lighter skin then our principal, but we represent a lot of different races.
And last time I checked, music didn't have a color.
Please, don't fight racism with racism. All it's going to do is continue to keep racism burning in our world. That's not what any of us SHOULD want. So let's not do it!
So this story really begins at the beginning of the year before school even started. I had just met my new principal I would be working with and after 10 minutes of small talk, I was told that I was going to fail as a teacher because "white female teachers are pushovers". My principal is not white. So that's how the year started. I thought it was just me, the whitey of the group, that would be targeted, but no, it turns out that she also made very blantantly racist comments towards a Hispanic, and an Asian. So at least I wasn't targeted specifically. Here's the funny part too...she also told us with pride how she had sewed over a racial issue. (Was she encouraging us to take action against her since she was being racist to us? Hmmm, food for thought)
During Christmas "Santa" came and the kids were beyond excited. Sure I'm not a big Santa fan either, but with the kids so excited, I went with it. My principal however couldn't quite go along with it without telling the kids how "no fat white guy is going to get credit for all my hard work". (Yet in this case, she actually hadn't done any of the work, Santa and his helpers were really the ones who got all the gifts donated, wrapped, and given to the kids). It was quite the downer on such a fun day.
So here's the latest and greatest. At a recent staff meeting we were told about a high school Jazz band that was going to come and play at our school. The most entertaining thing about this is that all of a sudden what seemed like a fun thing turned ugly. After getting the basic information on when the band would be here and where they were from, she proceeds to get a nasty tone and tell us how she has a problem with a bunch of blue-eyed white kids coming in claiming jazz. The world needs to know that it wasn't a bunch of white kids who invented Jazz, but it came from their people. OK, so I can totally understand teaching the kids about the history of Jazz, but I'm pretty sure the kids aren't even going to be thinking about color when they're listening to the music. In fact I just invision the kids wanting to get up and dance and have fun (but the principal will probably yell at them if they try and do that too). So long story short, the principal continues to tell us how she's not about to let some little white kids come in and play for our kids who look like her. They need to know that the real people that invented Jazz look like them, and not like us white people they have to look at teaching them all day.
Funny thing is, last time I checked, I am only 1 of 2 white teachers at the school. Sure the rest of us have lighter skin then our principal, but we represent a lot of different races.
And last time I checked, music didn't have a color.
Please, don't fight racism with racism. All it's going to do is continue to keep racism burning in our world. That's not what any of us SHOULD want. So let's not do it!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Letters from the Heart
Again I will state, I love getting notes or letters from my students. I especially liked the PS on this one...
(I have retyped it below since the picture is a little hard to read)
(I have retyped it below since the picture is a little hard to read)
Dear Mrs. J
How was your week out of school Hopefully your week was great out of school.
Mine was good because I got to sleep in allot
OK i really wanna know how your easter vacation was Hope you Had a good easter.
Sensernly,
D
(PS) when you first became My teacher i thaunt i wasnet gonna Like you but i Like you allot Like a Really close friend of Mine.
I LOVE to know I wasn't liked at first, but now I am! Brutally honest. Thanks D. I love it! And keep writing!
Dumb as rocks...
OK, harsh title to a post, I know. But seriously, what I am about to write STILL baffles me. Now, keep in mind, I don't consider myself to always be the brightest bulb in the box, but I would say I am easily a 100W bulb (bright enough to know what's up, but not so bright it hurts). However, I would consider myself to be able to easily hold my own in the thinking department. I think that teachers need to be pretty quick on their thinking toes, and should be able to figure problems out with relative ease. Students often perceive us as the "all knowing" teacher, and are baffled to discover that sometimes we make mistakes too. Parents often think we are "absolute experts" on every subject we teach. But we still need to know what's up, even if we do make mistakes every now and then. Now here's what worries me...
In my 6 years of teaching and 1 year of student teaching, I have taught the whole gammat of grades. K, 2nd, 4th, 6th, and Special Ed. The majority of my years being spent in 6th grade. The scary thing is, that I have repeatedly heard from other teachers "oh I could never teach 6th grade math, that's why I teach 1st", or "what do you do when you can't solve the problem in the math book?" My response to this in my head is generally: "REALLY...are you really that dumb that you can't figure out a 6th grade math problem? 4x + 2 = 18 is really that hard to solve?" But my outward response is generally more along the lines of "oh I'm pretty good at math and love it, so I'm normally ok teaching it". I try not to make the teacher feel as dumb as I am summing them up to be in my head. (Haha, pun intended)
Does this worry anyone else? We are entrusting our children to the minds of people who really don't think they can hack 6th grade math? Even worse, I recently heard "4th grade math is too tricky for me, I'll stick to the primary grades". Come on!!! Thoughts people?!?!? I would love to know if I'm putting myself on some pedestal and thinking I am some smarty pants who's better than primary teachers, or if I can have a little validation here? It's not rocket science. But what are your thoughts?
In my 6 years of teaching and 1 year of student teaching, I have taught the whole gammat of grades. K, 2nd, 4th, 6th, and Special Ed. The majority of my years being spent in 6th grade. The scary thing is, that I have repeatedly heard from other teachers "oh I could never teach 6th grade math, that's why I teach 1st", or "what do you do when you can't solve the problem in the math book?" My response to this in my head is generally: "REALLY...are you really that dumb that you can't figure out a 6th grade math problem? 4x + 2 = 18 is really that hard to solve?" But my outward response is generally more along the lines of "oh I'm pretty good at math and love it, so I'm normally ok teaching it". I try not to make the teacher feel as dumb as I am summing them up to be in my head. (Haha, pun intended)
Does this worry anyone else? We are entrusting our children to the minds of people who really don't think they can hack 6th grade math? Even worse, I recently heard "4th grade math is too tricky for me, I'll stick to the primary grades". Come on!!! Thoughts people?!?!? I would love to know if I'm putting myself on some pedestal and thinking I am some smarty pants who's better than primary teachers, or if I can have a little validation here? It's not rocket science. But what are your thoughts?
Letters to the Teacher
I love getting letters or notes from my students. They tend to either put a smile on my face, or crack me up. Here is one I thought was particularly sweet. This girl tried to disguise her identity by writing on the front of the card...
I found it particularly entertaining that the mysterious student who wrote the note (which was a dead give away from her handwriting anyway) continuously asked me for the next several days if I found a surprise on my desk. (My desk often gets messy and it took a few days to dig through the rubble to find the gold). Here is what was inside my card...spelling as student wrote it of course...
I must say, my job has it's perks most days! And when I want to pull my hair out because a kid is throwing a temper tantrum, or when my bipolar Principal goes crazy, it's little things like this note that make it all worth it. And apparently my husband is supposed to think I am totally worth it too!
To: Mrs. J
From: Dee? or Deb?
hope you get this right Mrs. J
I found it particularly entertaining that the mysterious student who wrote the note (which was a dead give away from her handwriting anyway) continuously asked me for the next several days if I found a surprise on my desk. (My desk often gets messy and it took a few days to dig through the rubble to find the gold). Here is what was inside my card...spelling as student wrote it of course...
Dear, Mrs. J (I must note she also spelled my very phonetically sound last name incorrectly)
I thank you for every thing you do I think you do just fine. You husbend shoud be greatfull your his wife.
Sensly,
D (she only signed D because I was of course supposed to be very puzzled by which D it was!)I must say, my job has it's perks most days! And when I want to pull my hair out because a kid is throwing a temper tantrum, or when my bipolar Principal goes crazy, it's little things like this note that make it all worth it. And apparently my husband is supposed to think I am totally worth it too!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Please don't be this parent...
Dear Crazy Parent:
Sorry for bothering you today when I called you at 3:00pm and awoke you from your nap. I never would have guessed I would have been waking you up by calling at that hour. And don't worry, I got your message loud and clear! I won't call you to talk to you about your daughter's behavior ever again because you did make it very clear that you don't care what your kid does at school. You are right, how dare me to be so rude to even consider calling you about ways I can help your child succeed in school. That is my job, and I was only hoping that since you have had more experience with your daughter over the last 10 years then I have, that you might have some insight and we could work together. But again, you're right, you don't call me to talk about how she behaves at home, so I guess I can see your reasoning that I have no place calling you, HER MOTHER, to talk about how she behaves at school. Again, you can have my word...I will NEVER be calling you again! I don't want to have to deal with the hassle of being yelled at for 10 minutes about my utter stupidity for calling a parent to keep them informed on their child's behavior.
Sincerely,
Mrs. J (your child's idiotic teacher)
PS...I see where your child gets the crazed look in her eye, the absurd outbursts, and the anger issues. The poor girl, she was doomed from the womb.
PPS....I guess I will have to just do my best to be the best motherly figure to your daughter that I can during the 7 hours a day that I have her, because obviously, that will be more mothering than she's ever had! Good luck with her when she turns 13!
Sorry for bothering you today when I called you at 3:00pm and awoke you from your nap. I never would have guessed I would have been waking you up by calling at that hour. And don't worry, I got your message loud and clear! I won't call you to talk to you about your daughter's behavior ever again because you did make it very clear that you don't care what your kid does at school. You are right, how dare me to be so rude to even consider calling you about ways I can help your child succeed in school. That is my job, and I was only hoping that since you have had more experience with your daughter over the last 10 years then I have, that you might have some insight and we could work together. But again, you're right, you don't call me to talk about how she behaves at home, so I guess I can see your reasoning that I have no place calling you, HER MOTHER, to talk about how she behaves at school. Again, you can have my word...I will NEVER be calling you again! I don't want to have to deal with the hassle of being yelled at for 10 minutes about my utter stupidity for calling a parent to keep them informed on their child's behavior.
Sincerely,
Mrs. J (your child's idiotic teacher)
PS...I see where your child gets the crazed look in her eye, the absurd outbursts, and the anger issues. The poor girl, she was doomed from the womb.
PPS....I guess I will have to just do my best to be the best motherly figure to your daughter that I can during the 7 hours a day that I have her, because obviously, that will be more mothering than she's ever had! Good luck with her when she turns 13!
Bubba - my first favorite student
First of all, yes, teachers have favorites. I know we tell our students we don't and that we treat everyone equally (which we really try to do that), but we all have our favorites. One of my all time favorites was before I was even a teacher. I was a 1-on-1 instructional aide for a student with Autism. It was my first experience working with kids with special needs, and I fell in love with this kid! He was so much fun to work with and brought joy to my workday! Whenever I think of Bubba (name changed for confidentiality of course), I smile and I always revert back to one of my favorite moments with him. Trust me, if you continue to read, you will be entertained!
So let's just say Bubba was by no means a small child. He was in the 3rd grade, but quite a bit bigger then the third graders in his general ed class. When he got frustrated he had to find an outlet to express his frustration, and since his speech was limited, he tended to get a tad bit theatrical. But in reality, don't we all...we get frustrated, we don't quite know how to show it, so out comes the drama! In one section of the room was the reading area and in it was a nice cushy couch. When Bubba would get frustrated from his work he'd get that look in his eyes, and before I could really do anything to reason with him, he would bolt up out of his chair, run as fast as he could with his chubby little waddle, and run towards the couch. Now the first time I witnessed this, I was baffled, I had no idea where he was going, and the drama that unfolded was quite the hilarious scene! As he approached the couch his chubby run would turn more into a quick foot shuffle and then he would dramatically throw himself on the couch throwing his hands in the air and screaming all the while! He would then attempt to hide his face in the couch and eventually, when he was over it, he would sit himself and I could convince him to come back and work. This dramatic couch throwing soon became a habit and the teacher and I had to do some serious thinking about how we could avoid this from happening 5-10 times a day.
The third graders in the class were all very patient and sweet with him and their response was often just "oh Bubba". After moving the couch around and discovering that wouldn't deter him because he could just throw himself over the back in the same dramatic fashion, the teacher and I finally came up with a grand plan! We realized we had to make the couch completely unappealing. We could easily understand why he would rather lay on the couch instead of sitting in a chair working, I wanted to do the same. But the couch was too fun, and we had to make it unappealing. So Mrs. K and I decided that we would take chairs and desks and turn them upside down, covering the entire couch so that the legs were sticking up. Of course in our mind this was a genius idea because there is no way he would attempt the couch when it would be impossible for him to get on it with the obstructions. We had it set up in the morning before school and explained to the 3rd graders what we were doing and why, and then we just sat back and waited to see what would happen.
I was working with Bubba when I saw that all too familiar look in his eye...he was going to make his run for it! Without fail he followed my thought process and bolted out of the seat and headed towards the couch. As he reached the point that he would normally do his quick foot shuffle, he suddenly came to a screeching halt. SUCCESS!!! He looked at me with a look of complete flabbergast and Mrs. K and I shot a quick smile to each other because our genius idea had worked. Or so we thought...we had only a small moment of an ego boost at our cleverness, and that's when we could see the wheels churning in Bubba's head. He was determined and no desks or chairs despite their upside down nature were going to stop him. He then proceeded to carefully attempt to squeeze himself between the back of the couch and the desks, intertwining his arms and weaving his legs through the legs of the chairs and desks. Now remember that he was no small child...if I remember correctly he weighed about 150 pounds...as a 3rd grader. As he's working his way down into the couch he's just lying there, back arched, arms tangled, repeatedly saying in his adorable sing-songy voice "ouch....ouch....ouch". Mrs. K. and I started laughing SO hard that we had to quickly run into the room next door and have that teacher come watch the kids. We didn't want to encourage him by us laughing, but we just couldn't control ourselves! You know how it is, one of you starts to gain control and then the other losses it again, sending you both into a downward spiral of giggle fits. The teacher next door goes running in there and is explaining to the kids that we are being bad examples because we can't stop laughing. She quickly looked over at Bubba, found it to be just as funny as we did, and came back saying, "I can't help but laugh either, he's just so darn cute stuck down there!" We eventually got our giggles under control and were able to go back in and slowly peel Bubba out of the couch. We still thought we might be on to something, so we decided to try the desk trick one more time to see if he would avoid it, and success! Real success this time! Unfortunately while we conquered the couch, he then resorted to throwing himself on the ground. And even worse, there was only a couch in our room, there's a ground everywhere! So while we thought we were being pretty clever, we probably just made it worse.
While no words will ever be able to describe the image that I can still play in my head, I hope it was at least somewhat entertaining for you.
So let's just say Bubba was by no means a small child. He was in the 3rd grade, but quite a bit bigger then the third graders in his general ed class. When he got frustrated he had to find an outlet to express his frustration, and since his speech was limited, he tended to get a tad bit theatrical. But in reality, don't we all...we get frustrated, we don't quite know how to show it, so out comes the drama! In one section of the room was the reading area and in it was a nice cushy couch. When Bubba would get frustrated from his work he'd get that look in his eyes, and before I could really do anything to reason with him, he would bolt up out of his chair, run as fast as he could with his chubby little waddle, and run towards the couch. Now the first time I witnessed this, I was baffled, I had no idea where he was going, and the drama that unfolded was quite the hilarious scene! As he approached the couch his chubby run would turn more into a quick foot shuffle and then he would dramatically throw himself on the couch throwing his hands in the air and screaming all the while! He would then attempt to hide his face in the couch and eventually, when he was over it, he would sit himself and I could convince him to come back and work. This dramatic couch throwing soon became a habit and the teacher and I had to do some serious thinking about how we could avoid this from happening 5-10 times a day.
The third graders in the class were all very patient and sweet with him and their response was often just "oh Bubba". After moving the couch around and discovering that wouldn't deter him because he could just throw himself over the back in the same dramatic fashion, the teacher and I finally came up with a grand plan! We realized we had to make the couch completely unappealing. We could easily understand why he would rather lay on the couch instead of sitting in a chair working, I wanted to do the same. But the couch was too fun, and we had to make it unappealing. So Mrs. K and I decided that we would take chairs and desks and turn them upside down, covering the entire couch so that the legs were sticking up. Of course in our mind this was a genius idea because there is no way he would attempt the couch when it would be impossible for him to get on it with the obstructions. We had it set up in the morning before school and explained to the 3rd graders what we were doing and why, and then we just sat back and waited to see what would happen.
I was working with Bubba when I saw that all too familiar look in his eye...he was going to make his run for it! Without fail he followed my thought process and bolted out of the seat and headed towards the couch. As he reached the point that he would normally do his quick foot shuffle, he suddenly came to a screeching halt. SUCCESS!!! He looked at me with a look of complete flabbergast and Mrs. K and I shot a quick smile to each other because our genius idea had worked. Or so we thought...we had only a small moment of an ego boost at our cleverness, and that's when we could see the wheels churning in Bubba's head. He was determined and no desks or chairs despite their upside down nature were going to stop him. He then proceeded to carefully attempt to squeeze himself between the back of the couch and the desks, intertwining his arms and weaving his legs through the legs of the chairs and desks. Now remember that he was no small child...if I remember correctly he weighed about 150 pounds...as a 3rd grader. As he's working his way down into the couch he's just lying there, back arched, arms tangled, repeatedly saying in his adorable sing-songy voice "ouch....ouch....ouch". Mrs. K. and I started laughing SO hard that we had to quickly run into the room next door and have that teacher come watch the kids. We didn't want to encourage him by us laughing, but we just couldn't control ourselves! You know how it is, one of you starts to gain control and then the other losses it again, sending you both into a downward spiral of giggle fits. The teacher next door goes running in there and is explaining to the kids that we are being bad examples because we can't stop laughing. She quickly looked over at Bubba, found it to be just as funny as we did, and came back saying, "I can't help but laugh either, he's just so darn cute stuck down there!" We eventually got our giggles under control and were able to go back in and slowly peel Bubba out of the couch. We still thought we might be on to something, so we decided to try the desk trick one more time to see if he would avoid it, and success! Real success this time! Unfortunately while we conquered the couch, he then resorted to throwing himself on the ground. And even worse, there was only a couch in our room, there's a ground everywhere! So while we thought we were being pretty clever, we probably just made it worse.
While no words will ever be able to describe the image that I can still play in my head, I hope it was at least somewhat entertaining for you.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Confession...I was a tattle tale!
Even my Kindergarten report card proves it, I was a tattle tale, or as my teacher so gently put it I was "a reporter". Now that I am a teacher, I know that was her nice way of saying that in all honesty, I was just a big fat tattle tale. I don't know when it started and I don't know what my motive was behind it. Maybe I was just such the goody-two-shoes that I felt the need to share every detail about everyone else. I am the baby of my family, and only having my older brother to bug and torment, I felt the need to follow him around, and since he was quite mischievous and I was always the "good kid", I must have also felt the need to "report". I know it drove my mother crazy and now that I'm a teacher I KNOW it drove my teachers crazy! But, I must confess, I was that tattle tale, and apparently I still am because I feel the need to "report" some of the events of my teaching career! My mother has always said I needed to write a book, so instead, I start my quest for tattle tale treasures through this blog. But I really felt the need before I started to at least confess, I was that tattling child!
OK, I'm ratting them all out!
Kids love to be tattle tales, and while it drives teachers CRAZY, we love to be our own tattle tales and rat out our students on their funny mishaps and adventures. Sometimes I feel like my life as a teacher could be a never ending Seinfeld episode. Here is where I will seek comic relief from my sometimes stressful job. As I start on this new blogging journey, I hope to be able to send some laughs and love to your lives! Whether you are teacher or not, we've all had at one moment in our lives, an unforgettable moment at school! I hope you enjoy reading!
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